1/2 Marathon Training Day 1

Kelly has encouraged me to train for the Rock n' Roll 1/2 Marathon in September. I don't run. I don't walk. I sit. So, I said "Sure!" Well, Jennifer was sweet enough to print out a beginners training schedule. It looked reasonable...or so I thought. I came home straight from work hoping to get in the first day of training before most of the neighbors returned from work at 5:15. I suited up, ipod included. Immediately, my body resisted. My head was telling me the most negative messages: Why are you doing this? You can't do this! Jackson said you're skinnier than Oprah! I finished the 1st mile without walking! Then it begins. Labored breathing, sagging shorts falling below what I'm comfortable with, Jeff's faggy techno music getting on my nerves! I had to walk a little. Just a little. Oh no! There's a neighbor! What am I doing out here? "Making a fool of yourself," my subconscious tells me. I decide to pick up the pace only to slow to a walk sooner than before. What's happening? Oh yeah, your body is rejecting the exercise. Must keep going. What? Are my eyes tearing up? Why? I immediately begin thinking about the stress this year has brought with Jackson's tourettes diagnosis, the doctor's appointments all revealing ADHD, the endless emails from teachers and Jackson's dad. I swallow the sadness and try to think of something a little more positive. Then it hits me at about mile 1.5--slinky sun dresses, no more jiggling back fat, the confidence my new body will exude! I'm rolling now! Oh no! Neighbors are coming home and in that moment I realize something horrible. I can see in my shadow a strap sticking out past my shoulder. I realize MY SPORTS BRA IS ON INSIDE OUT! Great! Now I am passing my next door neighbors. Do they see my extra large, extra support bra strap poking out? Oh look! A sweet baby bunny rabbit just crossed my path. I have .5 miles left to go. I can do this! I can't wait to get inside and stand in front of our one and only window unit and drink a cool glass of water. I think I'm starting to like Jeff's faggy techno music. It has an annoying beat to it that goes with my tempo: boom, boom, ting, boom, boom, ting. I'm done! I did it! I walk straight to our window unit to get my well-deserved coolness...What! Jeff turned it off! Is he trying to kill me? Tomorrow is rest day. Thursday is 2.5 miles. Can I do it?