Training Day 2-These statements are factual, true, literal as they occurred

My training schedule says to run 2.5 miles today. I clock the mileage in my car on the way home to plan my route. After all, it is already 5:00 and I cannot be seen running through the neighborhood as neighbors are coming home from work. So, I've figured out that if I run from my house to Granby High School around the neighborhood once, I will have 2.5 miles in. I'm ready! I suit up and out the door I go when I run into my sweet husband for the first time since this morning. "Hi honey, I'm running to Granby and back today!" The look of shock is priceless on Jeff's face. " Honey! You don't want to do that! You are going to be sore from Tuesday's run. You need to stay close to home just in case!" I snap back, "Just in case, what?" Jeffrey recommends I carry my cell phone in case I need to call him to come PICK ME UP!!! Way to go with the encouraging words dear husband! Plus, I can't imagine carrying something else to weigh me down even more than my extra flub of jelly fat. Heck, that cell phone probably weighs at least 2 ounces! "See ya soon," I wave with confidence. Before I can get out of the neighborhood, it starts: heavy legs, dry mouth, irregular breathing. Dear Google: why do my legs feel heavy when I begin running? Coach Jenny says that the heat can cause fatigue and that I should give my body at least two weeks to acclimate. She also mentions strength training to prevent injuries, but I'm going to ignore that part for now. What does she know anyways! Well, at least I've got Jeffrey's ipod to keep my mind occupied. Luckily the next song on Jeff's 2000 song list is Nirvana's "Smells Like Teen Spirit". Yeah! I've got spirit! Surprised that Jeff has that song on his ipod, I turn it up and push through the heavy legs. Can I make it to DePaul without having to walk? I must learn how to jog on the sidewalk. There are cars zipping by in the 5 o'clock traffic. Some guy almost runs me over passing me on his bike. I'm sure he made a noise to let me know he was coming from behind, but my music is turned up loud. I see a homeless man sitting on the edge of the sidewalk. I say homeless because he looks like he has not had a bath in days and his clothes are shabby and too heavy for the weather. I make sure I give him a big smile as I slowly jog by. He smiles brightly in return. When I first moved to Virginia from North Carolina 15 years ago, I would smile at everyone. I learned quickly at 25 years old not to do that unless you wanted to make quick "friends". So, I stopped smiling and learned to keep my head down. I'm almost 40 and I've decided I don't need to keep my head down anymore. So what if someone takes it the wrong way when I smile at him or her. I going to anyway. Well, that's settled but now I'm starting to feel my weight. I'm not going to make it to DePaul without walking. Just as I begin to slow, Jeffrey's ipod starts singing "Sending Out an SOS" by The Police! How appropriate! Did Jeffrey get up this morning and reprogram his 2000 song list to the peaks and valleys of my endurance. Surely not! How could he time the music to the way my body is reacting to the exercise and strategically place one of Norfolk's famous mermaids at the perfect moment when I need to slow it down. By the way, this mermaid is dressed like a nurse. Is that a sign? I like The Police, so I walk a little and get my second wind. I finally make it to Granby High School. Yes, I had to walk a little, but it's more than what I would normally do: sit on the couch. I head back in the other direction feeling please that I don't feel the urge to call my husband to pick me up. I begin thinking about my crazy day at work: 2 hours of work on a Word document lost when Word crashes, a crying parent standing in front of me as I'm trying to retrieve lost document, the phone call from Jackson's bus driver saying that he used profanity today. I'm not gonna cry! Foreigner's song "Urgent" surprises my deep thoughts. "You gotta be kiddin' me," my subconscious scowls. Yes, this true. How can it be? I listen to the first few words:

You're not shy, you get around
You wanna fly, don't want your feet on the ground
You stay up, you won't come down
You wanna live, you wanna move to the sound
Got fire, in your veins, burnin' hot, but you don't feel the pain
Your desire, is insane, you can't stop, until you do it again

I am sweating profusely and yet I have goose bumps from Foreigner's words as they breathe new life into me. Dear Google: why do I get goose bumps when I listen to music? Yahoo Answers says "It's a sympathetic nervous response that triggers the arrector pili muscles of your pilosebaceous units to contract and give you goose bumps." Intriguing. I round the corner to Trinity Lutheran Church when a techno band called Strawberry Switchblade kills Jeffrey's ipod. I am dead serious. His ipod has died! Oh well, I should probably have some quiet as I walk this last 1/2 mile. I notice the birds chirping. They're the same crazy birds that start in at about 5:00 AM every morning. It's annoying. They constantly chirp back and forth at each other. It sounds like an endless quarrel between two distant lovers who can't make up their minds about who should move in with whom so they don't have to date long distance anymore. As I round the corner, I see my glorious house. Water. Air conditioning. Well, window unit. Tomorrow is a rest day!

1/2 Marathon Training Day 1

Kelly has encouraged me to train for the Rock n' Roll 1/2 Marathon in September. I don't run. I don't walk. I sit. So, I said "Sure!" Well, Jennifer was sweet enough to print out a beginners training schedule. It looked reasonable...or so I thought. I came home straight from work hoping to get in the first day of training before most of the neighbors returned from work at 5:15. I suited up, ipod included. Immediately, my body resisted. My head was telling me the most negative messages: Why are you doing this? You can't do this! Jackson said you're skinnier than Oprah! I finished the 1st mile without walking! Then it begins. Labored breathing, sagging shorts falling below what I'm comfortable with, Jeff's faggy techno music getting on my nerves! I had to walk a little. Just a little. Oh no! There's a neighbor! What am I doing out here? "Making a fool of yourself," my subconscious tells me. I decide to pick up the pace only to slow to a walk sooner than before. What's happening? Oh yeah, your body is rejecting the exercise. Must keep going. What? Are my eyes tearing up? Why? I immediately begin thinking about the stress this year has brought with Jackson's tourettes diagnosis, the doctor's appointments all revealing ADHD, the endless emails from teachers and Jackson's dad. I swallow the sadness and try to think of something a little more positive. Then it hits me at about mile 1.5--slinky sun dresses, no more jiggling back fat, the confidence my new body will exude! I'm rolling now! Oh no! Neighbors are coming home and in that moment I realize something horrible. I can see in my shadow a strap sticking out past my shoulder. I realize MY SPORTS BRA IS ON INSIDE OUT! Great! Now I am passing my next door neighbors. Do they see my extra large, extra support bra strap poking out? Oh look! A sweet baby bunny rabbit just crossed my path. I have .5 miles left to go. I can do this! I can't wait to get inside and stand in front of our one and only window unit and drink a cool glass of water. I think I'm starting to like Jeff's faggy techno music. It has an annoying beat to it that goes with my tempo: boom, boom, ting, boom, boom, ting. I'm done! I did it! I walk straight to our window unit to get my well-deserved coolness...What! Jeff turned it off! Is he trying to kill me? Tomorrow is rest day. Thursday is 2.5 miles. Can I do it?

I guess the journey began today! Good job Paula. Jen, you on?? Looks like we are doing this thing. YAY!!